


Dear Desmond

by wookiekisses



Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: Angst, E-mail, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I'm sorry I'm putting this into the world, M/M, Seriously though this is painful for me to write
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-07-22 21:55:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7455301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wookiekisses/pseuds/wookiekisses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dear Desmond,</p>
<p>Fuck you. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Shaun</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Subject: Abandonment

**Author's Note:**

> This will be written in email style, I'm toying with the idea of adding to it later, but for now it's just complete and total angst.

**From: Shaun Hastings**

**To: D. Miles**

**Date/Time: Jan. 3rd, 2013 02:49**

**Subject: Abandonment**

Dear Desmond,

Fuck you. 

Shaun

 

**From: Shaun Hastings**

**To: D. Miles**

**Date/Time: Jan. 3rd, 2013 02:57**

**Subject: RE: Abandonment**

Dear Desmond,

My last email wasn't very nice. I'm sorry. 

I just hate that you're not here. 

Shaun

**From: Shaun Hastings**

**To: D. Miles**

**Date/Time: Jan. 3rd, 2013 09:12**

**Subject: RE: Abandonment**

Dear Desmond,

I don't know why I'm even bothering to email you. I know you won't answer. I mean, you usually don't answer anyway because you're always in the Animus. Were always in the Animus. Sometimes I almost forget that you're not here anymore. Celebrating the New Year was hard. Not much of a celebration really, just me and Rebecca getting drunk on shite champagne and telling stories about you. I think I realised a little too late that I didn't have many stories to tell; I was too busy telling you to go away to get to know you. I'm glad that someone was there for you though, especially after Lucy. Rebecca might be odd but I think that she's the most human out of us. 

I'm sorry that I told you to go away. I never wanted it to be taken this literally.

Shaun

****

**From: Shaun Hastings**

**To: D. Miles**

**Date/Time: Jan. 9th, 2013 01:37**

**Subject: RE: Abandonment**

Desmond,

who do you think you are leaving me like this? leaving us? why did it have to be you?

i wish i could punch juno straight in the twat. rgaging bitch that she is. 

maybe i shouldn't drink qhen im sad.

i miss you.

Shaun

**From: Shaun Hastings**

**To: D. Miles**

**Date/Time: Jan. 10th, 2013 11:13**

**Subject: RE: Abandonment**

Dear Desmond,

They finally sent a team back to the Temple today. The Templars took your body. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. 

How am I supposed to say goodbye if I can't even bury you?

I swear I'll destroy the Templars from the inside out if I have to. 

Shaun

**From: Shaun Hastings**

**To: D. Miles**

**Date/Time: Jan. 11th, 2013 14:36**

**Subject: RE: Abandonment**

Dear Desmond,

Rebecca stopped by today. It's sort of odd seeing her now that we're not on a mission. We're being given "time off in thanks of all that we've done for the Order". 

I don't want time off. Time gives me time to think, and when I think I just get upset. 

Us Brits are supposed to have a stiff upper lip, but every time I think about something that you've done, or see something that I think you would find amusing, I'm oddly possessed by the urge to cry. Not that I have.

I told Rebecca that I've started emailing you. She doesn't want to admit it, but she's taking this just as hard as I am. I don't think she's slept in the past three days...

Shaun

**From: Shaun Hastings**

**To: D. Miles**

**Date/Time: Jan. 11th, 2013 23:19**

**Subject: RE: Abandonment**

Dear Desmond,

I lied. I did cry. I do cry. I...I wasn't supposed to have become friends with you. I promised myself I wouldn't, but I did anyway and now look where it's gotten me. 

Rebecca's decided that we're living together. I don't think either of us want to be alone.

Shaun

**From: Rebecca Crane**

**To: D. Miles**

**Date/Time: Jan 12th, 2013 04:01**

**Subject: Whiskey Sour pls**

Hey Desmond,

So I wanted to ask you how you dealt with all those nightmares. You know, the ones you had all the time that you acted like you didn't have all the time that we all knew you had all the time? Those ones. Because now I'm having them. I keep seeing Lucy dying, and then I see the last few seconds of your life (at least what I saw of it), and then I just imagine Shaun and William and all of the other people I care about dying too. 

I wish you were able to tell me how to handle this. Or make me a drink. Either one really. 

Rebecca

PS: I hope you don't mind that I'm emailing you now too. Shaun told me he's been doing it and it seemed like a pretty good idea. It's...therapeutic I guess. Just don't tell Shaun if I talk shit about him. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dear Desmond,
> 
> I wish I had actually listened to you. 
> 
> William

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopping back on the angst express, woo woo. Thanks for all the comments guys <3

**From: Shaun Hastings**

**To: D. Miles**

**Date/Time: Jan 14th, 12:21**

**Subject: Flatmate**

Dear Desmond,

Rebecca moved in yesterday. She wasn't kidding when she said we would be living together. I suppose I should be grateful that the flat isn't so quiet anymore, but it's...awkward. There's this big, Desmond shaped elephant in the room that we apparently can't talk about when sober, and the presence of a third, very empty bedroom is making the transition a bit harder. 

Three bedrooms. What a stupid plan. I originally had gotten this flat because I had hoped that Lucy and Rebecca would move in after all of this madness was over...then you came along and at first I didn't feel so bad that there wasn't a room for you. Then I decided 'oh, maybe we can share the room so the girls can have their own space', and then I thought maybe, with Lucy, you'd end up sharing a room...and well, then Lucy died and it was you, me, and Rebecca, and now you're gone and there's nobody to fill that third room. 

Shaun 

**From: Rebecca Crane**

**To: D. Miles**

**Date/Time: Jan 14th, 16:49**

**Subject: Shaun**

Hey Desmond,

So I just moved in with Shaun and it's...interesting. I think both of us are a little unsure of what the dynamic is now that you're not here, but I've always been a little less emotionally stunted than Shaun. He's like a ghost man. Like, if you thought that 'spent 3 months in an underground cave' pale was bad, you should see Shaun now. I'm pretty sure I can buy paper that's less white than he is right now. I think it's stress though. He's sleeping about as much as I am, and to you mortals that's not really a lot of sleep. 

We're pretty much both a big mess. 

Who'd've thunk that the guy who spent most of his days unconscious in a machine was the glue holding what's left of our sanity together?

I wish you could be here to make fun of Shaun with me. We both miss you. 

Rebecca

**From: Shaun Hastings**

**To: D. Miles**

**Date/Time: Jan 16th, 03:00**

**Subject: Personal Effects**

Dear Desmond,

I thought that I should let you know that Rebecca found one of your jumpers in her stuff. Sorry, not jumper, "hoodie". Because that makes any sense. She says that you lent it to her before we got some heat in the Temple, and that she forgot to give it back to you. She then not so subtly left it in my room. 

So I'm just letting you know that it's mine now. You can't have it back. It's comfortable, which is alarming considering how horrid the thing looks on me, it's about 4 sizes too large which is saying something considering I actually do work out, and I want it. Besides, you apparently owned more than one of the same damn jacket. 

I just wish it still smelled like you. It'd make it seem more like you were still here.

Shaun

**From: Rebecca Crane**

**To: D. Miles**

**Date/Time: Jan 20th, 01:35**

**Subject: Stupid Hoodie**

Des,

So I found the hoodie you lent me back in the Temple. Sorry I forgot to give it back. I hope you don't mind that I gave it to Shaun; I think he needs it more than either of us do. He wears it around the apartment all the time when he thinks I'm not paying attention. I'm pretty sure he sleeps in it. Which would be hilarious except for the fact that he couldn't find it yesterday and spent like 2 hours tearing the place apart looking for it, gave up, didn't sleep, and then found it in his closet the next day. 

I don't know what to do with him. I miss you too, but Shaun needs me to not be a complete fucking nutcase so that he can lose his mind. I just hopes he finds it again eventually. 

Rebecca

PS: How fucking jacked were you?! Because Shaun isn't a tiny guy despite the whole snarky nerd thing and that hoodie is like a tent on him. 

**From: William Miles**

**To: D. Miles**

**Date/Time: Jan 21st, 06:18**

**Subject: You**

Dear Desmond,

I wish that I had actually listened to you. Maybe if I had gotten into the Animus just once, I would've understood why you were so scared, so angry...but I didn't. I ignored you like I always do, and now it's been a month and I can't even begin to explain how sorry I am. Not that apologies do any good now. You're dead. 

You're dead and you'll never get to hear me say all the things I should have said to you as a father, but I can still send them to you. I need to. I don't have a grave to visit. Just an email inbox. So. 

I'm proud of you. I know that I said you had no direction, no ambition, but I was wrong. Your direction and ambition were just different than the ones I had hoped you would have, and so I got angry with you. Maybe I was angry that you could think for yourself as opposed to just blindly following what your father told you like I did. I know I was angry when you left because I was afraid that Abstergo would get you. Which they did. But I went and got you back because, well, I love you. You're my son Desmond, you always will be even if you're not alive to know it. You saved the world, gave your life for all of us when we had already taken everything else from you. I wish I could be half the man that you were. I wish that I could even say that I raised you right, and that's why you were so selfless. But I know that wasn't me. 

You did this all on your own, and now billions of people are breathing because you sacrificed yourself for them. Your sanity, your freedom, your life. 

I've always been proud of you, but it took me until now to realize it. Now I can't stop thinking about all the little things you did that made me proud. The first time you walked on your own, the first word you said, which was "Bill" because your mother kept calling me Bill in front of you, you getting C's in school even though you struggled and you hated it. 

I miss you Desmond. I wish I could have taken your place, but if I'm being honest I don't think I'd ever be brave enough to do what you did. 

I love you son. 

 

Dad

 


End file.
